If more people know about and understand narcissistic abuse and narcissistic personality disorder, I think it would be a lot less lonely for the survivors and the fighters.

I’m not exactly sure how this page came to be or how to organize it. Nevertheless, I had a thought today:

I think it’s possible that part of what holds me back (to what I will try to put into words later) is that I don’t know how to handle bad, or more bad than good, people (and I have trouble spotting them before it’s too late). If I can’t handle bad, or more bad than good, people, what chance do I have? Coupled with the fact that most people are bad, or more bad than good, clearly odds aren’t in my favor.

My ex-husband is a sociopathic. Dread probably is, too. But at the very least, Dread is absolutely unequivocally sick with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and quite likely Borderline Personality Disorder, as well. Dread has bad eyes, although I rarely saw them, as he very, very seldom looked me in my eyes. These people are absolutely lightless and lifeless, if not completely dangerous. Spiritually devoid. Just empty. But the memory this video below jogged most was when I decided to leave my husband of 20 years (the one who is a sociopath only I did not know it at the time) and he asked, “Why, why, why? Why are you leaving me?” And I said, “Because there’s just something wrong with your eyes.” (also, his 5-year affair didn’t help matters much). Mind you, I knew nothing about Narcissism then and I most definitely did not know I come from a family riddled with narcissists. The eyes are definitely the window to the soul. Don’t ignore what you might be seeing, or not seeing.

You have no idea…unless you do. I hope, eventually, everyone does. The world will be a better place then.

simply fascinating…

The fact of the matter is, Dread is a Narcissist. He has, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and there is a high probability that he also has Borderline Personality Disorder. He is an abuser, PERIOD.

I realize that it’s pretty much impossible to make people believe the truth because when you try to expose a narcissist, their lies just get bigger, more dangerous and more outlandish. This, coupled with people’s inability to reason or refusal to reason, but even more likely, believers or supporters of the narcissist get a benefit for believing and supporting them, real or perceived, is how it is that the victims of narcissistic abuse are rarely believed and entirely unsupported. We are sitting ducks, it seems, for other sickos in the world to further abuse.

Narcissists have arrested emotional development (which is precisely what causes the disorder). They are stunted, generally, between 5 and 10 years old (although I strongly suspect that my sister’s emotional age is even younger, at 2 to 4 years old). So if they are, say, 57 years old, that means that they have been dangerous narcissistic liars, manipulators, con artists, for approximately 50 years. Their whole life is a lie. They have no self so they harvest and feast on yours. You are their victim, their supplier. They’ve had 50 years to perfect it, test it, learn how to lie, learn what works and what doesn’t in relation to deception, and how to make it all work…for THEM ONLY.

Their victims, on the other had, are not liars. They are good. They have no experience being bad (this is, obviously, not what the abuser is telling people– they are telling people preposterous lies about you long before you suspect it’s all coming). That’s why they (people of light and goodness) are the perfect, and necessary, targets of supply. Narcissists can’t get much from other bad people (although sometimes they do find each other and partner up). Narcissists only “gain” from good people, people opposite of them, people that have something they don’t, which is goodness and light. That’s part of the devastation. They aren’t using and abusing bad people (although using and abusing anyone is not okay), they use and abuse good people.

If you’re curious as to why I got so upset, upset enough to publish this, here is a clip of Dread telling me that the only reason I didn’t sue the boyfriend I had prior to Dread is because he killed himself. This was an hour or so prior to publishing. I would say my response was provoked. And please excuse my current decor and surroundings. Two months ago I fled Dread, my abuser. I spent 3 weeks at a domestic violence safe house and now here I am without my furniture and without my belongings. I have been asking Dread for weeks to help me get my belongings back to me (which is why we were talking (below)) since he moved them all to his house with his future-faking and love-bombing. Here’s the clip:

There are many resources for learning about Narcissism and Narcissistic Abuse. Here are a few: